peter pan bitches

frozen__roses


frozen roses all around

shatter and break without a sound


(no subject)
peter pan bitches
frozen__roses
 Yes, I was still feeling pretty good when I woke up this morning, and that makes me feel even happier :)  

Moving on, and moving up.  Always up :)

(no subject)
peter pan bitches
frozen__roses
 I'm feeling really good right now.

Today was the first day in a really long time that I've felt this good for this long, because of my own mindset.  Being around other people helps a LOT right now, don't get me wrong, but when I'm by myself is usually when I'll start overthinking and just generally undo what other people have worked really hard to remind me of.

Yes, I've been hanging out with friends, and yes, they're so incredibly awesome it blows my mind sometimes, and yes, they make me feel better and remind me that I'm awesome (which really, I don't need to be reminded of :P ) and yes, I hung out with two very awesome people today, which helped beyond belief, and I will probably be hanging out with them again very soon.

What makes tonight so different though, is that I'm really good.  Like...weightless.  This is a big deal, considering the huge weight that usually settles in my chest and stays there even when I'm pretty sure I'm doing ok.  Right now, thanks to a great weekend, great friends, and a great drive back from Irvine, I'm still weight-free, and I plan to be for as long as I can.

Life isn't completely good, but it sure as hell is getting there, and I'm really excited to see what it's going to be like once it is.  

(no subject)
peter pan bitches
frozen__roses
 LAST DAY OF CLASS!!!

I feel pretty good right now :)

(no subject)
peter pan bitches
frozen__roses
 Is it Christmas already...?

I have a lot to be Thankful for this year.  I know that applies every year, but looking back on the past 11 months really makes me see how many blessings I've had, and in so many different forms :)

I've been through a lot this past year, and that's not me trying to make myself look better, or me trying to get other people's sympathy or anything; it's a statement of fact.  From everything that happened Winter quarter, and on since then, I've had a lot of ups, a lot of downs, and a lot of time between where I felt everything or nothing at all.

I'm a stronger, happier person now because of everything I've been through, and I'm thankful for that.  I'm thankful for all the people who have helped me through some of the hardest times of my life, regardless of whether or not we're close friends anymore.  I'm especially thankful for the people who are in my life now, because without them I'm pretty sure I'd have gone insane this last quarter at UCI :).  It's kind of funny: this year, just like my Senior year of high school, I told myself I'd kind of stay away from making too close friendships because I'd be leaving in a matter of months.  And just like Senior year, that resolution blew up in my face, but I couldn't be happier about it.  I've met some incredibly awesome people this quarter, and strengthened some friendships that began in quarters before.  Whether or not we're all still friends this time next year is irrelevant to me; nothing can change the fact that they've helped me through some tough times this quarter, even though they didn't know it at the time, and for that, I'll be forever thankful :)

I'm also thankful for the people who have been encouraging in the steps I've taken to get better with things.  Those people know who they are, and if it weren't for them I don't know if I would have had the courage to make some of the decisions I've made.  There's strength in doing things for yourself, and there's strength in doing things for others, and thanks to these people, I've learned the value of both.  I love myself, now more than ever, and I love all the people who have helped me come to this point in my life.

It's been a hard year, yeah, but it's been a pretty wonderful year too, if you open your eyes and see the colors with the shadows.  This year more than ever, I'm thankful for a friend in an old Spanish class (those seem to be some of the best kinds :) ) who told me something that's stuck with me since then: happiness is a choice.  Living by that philosophy isn't always easy, and sometimes it seems like nothing more than a lie, but when it really comes down to it, it's not.  Because happiness IS a choice, and it's up to you to find the strength to choose.

So I'm thankful for family, and amazing friends, and a year full of highs and lows...all of which have made me happy with who I am today.  I'm thankful for the hope I still have, and for the love I have for myself and for the people around me who deserve it.  Most of all, I'm thankful for the strength I know I have to make those hard choices, when there are hard choices to make...because if I have that, I have all the superpower I need :)

Happy Thanksgiving :) 

And while I'm here, I should mention that I'm thankful for the awesomeness that is HP 7.1. Because really--what kind of Thanksgiving post would this be if I didn't make at least one nerdy reference :P

(no subject)
peter pan bitches
frozen__roses
 My insomnia's off the charts tonight/this week, so I'd like to take a moment and reflect since I haven't done that here in a while.

Seeing Harry Potter Monday night was a big deal for me, not just because it was Harry.frigging.Potter. but because I absolutely love the girls who saw it with me.  An awesome movie with awesome company is so much more than enough to get me through the surprisingly hard day I've had today, and knowing I have such great memories to hold me over is a pretty good feeling :).  Yeah, it sucks because the group of people who will understand when I start babbling gibberish over my lingering state of shock is very small, but it's not a bad thing, really.  

Quite honestly, right after watching the movie, on the ride back, when we were thinking about what class and life would be like the next day, I couldn't help but compare us to the Hobbits returning to the Shire after their epic journey to destroy the One Ring.  Which, may I remind everyone IS A FRIGGING HORCRUX.  See?  We've gone full circle...or something...

Anway.

Yes, today has been tough, and you bet your sweet bippy I want to bitch about it.  But in the light of what I experienced Monday, I just can't...because I know that no matter how crappy today was, and how crappy certain other parts of the week are going to be, I will have those memories, and I'll have those amazing friends who will not just humor me when I want to crash a lame HP club dressed up as a Death Eater, or when I want to think up things for a Harry Potter drinking game, but who genuinely want to participate and are pretty much on the same page as me as far as that goes...and really--what can beat that?

So, screw you, lame Tuesday, and please end soon because Wednesday cannot come fast enough. (that's what she said.)

(no subject)
peter pan bitches
frozen__roses
This is where I live :)  (Actually, I'm posting these for someone who is interested in the room, so shoutout to possible future roomies!)

Featurrring: the bedroom and the kitchen!!! (And a little sneak peek at the patio!)





(no subject)
peter pan bitches
frozen__roses
I've decided that getting a tattoo is like a metaphor for my life.

I was born this Thursday 22 years ago...
peter pan bitches
frozen__roses
 It's my birthday :)  I celebrated with a small dinner at On the Border by the NCF mall and it was deliciousssss! But don't take my word for it--see for yourself :D

NomnomnomCollapse )

If only you could hear the beat, beat, beat of my beating heart...
peter pan bitches
frozen__roses
 I miss this CD so bad :( I found it, but I totally forgot to put it in my ipod.  If history is going to repeat itself, then it'll be a couple weeks before it ever actually gets on there; it took me a good 3 weeks of wanting the second AAR cd on Jasper before I ever actually did anything :/

I was thinking today, and as my brain was wrinkling, I realized that my life has become one of the poems/short stories/novels I've analyzed so much in my English studies.  In almost every story of whatever nature, winter is always the symbol for death or the end, while spring is always a beginning or new life.  So basically, my Winter and Spring quarters this year at UCI.

It's cliche, and overdone in literature for sure, but I much prefer this line of analysis to my former Twilight line of thinking.  At least this way there are no "Teams," but an overall appreciation for change that cycles and is unstoppable.

I'm pretty done trying to stop it, I think.  (This is a good thing :) )
Tags: , ,

Truth be told, I'm lying...
peter pan bitches
frozen__roses
 I was so excited for tonight's Glee comeback :(

I loved most of it, I really did.  And then near the end I just wanted to punch certain characters in the face, or in other places that would be very, very painful.  It was bad enough to put a damper on my pretty good day, so EFF YOU, GLEE. 

Anyway.

School has been epic since I figured out that I could be done in the fall.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this will be a reality :) We'll see though, I think.  My classes this quarter are pretty kickass, and my schedule is even better; I'm in class for just a couple hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and that's it :)

One class I decided to take, one, because I still need it, and two, because I had the professor last quarter, and she was an interesting person, so I figured at least I wouldn't be bored.  I was never more right about anything in my life.

Today in class, we were moving desks around because it's an incredibly small classroom and there are too many desks for us to actually get into the circle that she wants.  I stood up to help move crap around, and my professor saw my shirt and almost yelled, "OH MY GOD, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?!" So I proceeded to actually try and figure it out but before I could, she follows up with, "You actually identify as a Slytherin? Why?" So a small discussion on HP followed, in which someone asked me if that was a snake on my wrist, and my professor got kind of excited when she remembered my tattoo (from last quarter, when she announced then that I was a geek :P).  I'm officially the nerdiest person in that class, I guess :D

It was actually pretty funny.  I told her that I'm proud to be a Slytherin, and that I'm actually a Slythendor, since I'm a bit of both, and she seemed to accept that.  She also decided to ask all of us which of the seven Disney dwarves we felt like today during roll call, and when I said Happy, she responded with, "Wow, you are! Even with that shirt!" LOLs ensued.

My favorite part though, was when I said something somewhat profound and here's the conversation that followed:

Me: And that was coming from a Slytherin...
Professor: Yes! Five points to Slytherin!

It was probably the awesomest day of my life :)

I've been having a lot of pretty awesome days lately, and I'm pretty glad for that :) I'm kind of walking the line between glossing over the issues I still need to work on and letting them work themselves out, which is probably really dangerous, but I'm enjoying myself, and making memories to hold me over when shit does hit the fan.  

I might also start blogging more, since I've taken a bit of a break from Twitter.  Justin Bieber as a constant trending topic makes me a bit sad about the state of the world, so I've moved on to bigger and better things...sort of :P For long blogs, at least, I'll always come back here, and that makes me pretty glad too.

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